I always knew I had the tendency to be an introvert at times, but at uni I realised I’m much more introverted than I realised! At times I found myself preferring to do a number of things on my own, such as eating dinner or doing my grocery shop and sometimes I would find myself looking forward to solo movie night and take away for one! Now don’t get me wrong – I love a good social, hanging out with friends, doing things with others and can be a complete and utter chatterbox at times…but there’s just something I’ve found to be so peaceful and tranquil in the moments when I’m just by myself, living life, feeling contented and just doing me.
Season, reason or lifetime could not be more true when you go to uni. I went in thinking I was going make tons of friends and be part of some massive squad…and well…I definitely met tons of people, and yeah I did make “lots of friends”….but as the years went by those that I considered to be true proper and genuine friends, has dwindled down (and continues to do so). It’s somewhat upsetting, but it is also part of life and often liberaing and when it comes to friendships quality will always win over quantity for me.
Initially this was something that bothered me quite a bit. Like I genuinely didn’t understand why some people couldn’t just be nice…is it that hard to exchange pleasantries…? after all basic good manners are absolutely free! But I gradually began to realise that I wasn’t the problem and it wasn’t my job to try and make people like me, and in fact not everybody has to like me (their loss cos I’m actually jokes to be around-lol!). The best anyone can do in this life is to just be themselves and replace the need for external validation with self validation.
You have to choose to be positive about whatever situation you find yourself in. I’ve definitely spent a lot of time being a pessimist, especially when it came to coursework and exams at uni and all it really does is exacerbate the situation and make it seem worse than it is and trigger low mood! I’ve started to consciously try and reverse this mindset and improve the quality of my thoughts by practicing more mindfulness, gratitude and trying to see more of the good and positive in everything.
What did you learn or have so far learnt about yourself during your time at uni?