So I feel like I left you all on quite the cliff hanger in January, when I promised to take you along with me this year as I tried to “figure myself out”. The fact is life came at me real quick at the start of this year and the first half of 2019 felt a bit like a living nightmare, but hey I live on to tell the tale…(one day)! One thing I can say is that I’ve undergone a lot of personal growth this year and I do plan on doing an end of year round up on the areas of Gratitude and Confidence that I spoke about in my 1st of January Post.
In other news, I was thinking back to when I finished uni last year and was under the impression that commencing my training year was the start of my adulting life, and my goodness I really played myself! I think for me, because my training site was allocated and there was a clear structure and direction for how the year needed to go and what I needed to do, the level of adulting required was very minimal, especially as I was back living with my family. So fast forward to having completed the year and therefore stumbling into REAL adulthood, I found myself struggling with some anxiety upon the realisation that there was no longer a clear education or training path for me to follow and I’d lost my sense of direction. This was the season I’d been waiting for five years, to be free from studying, to finally have enough time that I could dedicate to things that I genuinely enjoy doing and trying to turn business ideas into fruition, yet all I felt was fear and anxiety.
I guess it’s like being at a crossroads. Some roads you’ll know where they lead and with that comes comfort and a sense of security, the destination wouldn’t make you super happy, but you could settle and it wouldn’t be too bad right? Then with other roads, you want to explore them, but it’s less clear which obstacles you might encounter and the final destination could be a bit of a tragedy or the best thing ever.
I had to go back and read a blog post I wrote awhile back on comfort zones- here, and it just reminded me that we’re doing life all wrong if we’re just doing what makes us comfortable. We all know by know that discomfort is one of the main ways in which we grow and develop as individuals, and if anything I’d say adulting is the prime time for this. It ain’t no walk in the park, but the one thing that has given me an element of peace in my mind has been drawing closer to God and looking to him for guidance in all things, knowing that his plans will always be best.
As for the other adulting stuff… learning to fully function as an individual without any dependence on my parents…I’m getting there with some trial and error!
Anyways (if your still reading me babble on at this point congrats – 5 stars for you), I guess I just wanted to give you summary of the last 9 months as I went completely incognito. I do have blog posts planned going forward, but I’m not going to sit here and make you any promises because you’ve heard it all before! But whatever age you are, and whatever stage you’re at in life, just always remember to try and choose the paths that are going to help you grow and build your character, and go after what you truly want rather than settling for a substandard of your dream life…”feel the fear and do it anyway” as they say…
Love
CJ x
p.s I’m also now back Instagram so do give me a follow if you’d like to keep up with my life happenings … see you there…?